Divided
by synomous01
Summary: A one-shot insert scene, inspired by Dutch's words to Johnny at the end of the episode "Meet the Parents", "You'll tell me, right Johnny? If things change with us."


**Summary:** A one-shot insert scene, inspired by Dutch's words to Johnny at the end of the episode "Meet the Parents", "You'll tell me, right Johnny? If things change with us."

 **Disclaimer:** I don't own Killjoys or any of it's characters.

 _"_ _You'll tell me, right Johnny? If things change with us."_

The words echoed in Johnny's mind as he worked on writing new subroutines for Lucy on the bridge. It had a few days since the episode on Qresh with the Simms family. While being back onboard Lucy felt like home, there was a part of him that wanted to be elsewhere. He wanted to be on Qresh with Pawter. Doing something, something that would make a difference in people's lives. And not just making joys, tracking people or items down for warrants. The aimlessness that he had felt seven years ago seemed to have worn out, and he now felt grounded with purpose. Save old town, a place he had come to call home after leaving Telen and the Sheriff years ago. It was the place that took him in when he was lost.

And then there was Dutch. She had been there for Johnny when he had been lost as well. How could he leave her now, especially in her most time of need? Khlyen's plans, somehow she was in the middle of it all. There was some kind of war coming, one that made even Del Seyah worried enough to start some sort of gene memory bank. How could Johnny think of leaving Dutch at a time like this?

 _"_ _If you have two people you love equally, you choose the one that makes you a better man."_

Wise words, Mr. Simms, thought Johnny ruefully. He wished the man was still alive, because he would ask, but what if both of them make you a better man? Pawter made him give a sh*t about things again. But Dutch taught him how live through the darkest times of his life. How could he choose between them?

But Johnny had made a promise to Pawter, that he was going to keep the secret between them. No Dutch. No D'Avin.

Keeping secrets from Dutch, though, was harder than he thought. While he had promised Pawter on Qresh to keep the plans between the two of them, seeing Dutch again, face to face, it felt like utter betrayal. Dutch never asked much of Johnny's past, nor Johnny of hers, but they knew one thing - they would always had each others back. With this secret brewing in the background, Johnny's desire to leave the killjoys life... would Dutch forgive him?

Or would she hate him, like Johnny had hated D'Avin years ago when he had decided he wanted out and left to the Nova Corp?

Johnny finished the last piece of code for the subroutine and started a slow walk to the mess hall. Picking up a piece of stale bread from the open cabinet, he crumbled it into a small tank.

Tapping the glass casually, Johnny watched with interest as the green moss-like creature slowly slithered towards the crumbled food.

"What would you do, little buddy? How would you choose in this situation?"

The green fuzzy glop however didn't answer, it just make some sort of suckling noise as it ate the stale bread.

"Yeah... I know. Sucks right? No pun intended," he chuckled to himself and then sighed. "I hate secrets too."

"Secrets?"

Johnny looked up, startled by the voice.

"D'Av." he greeted his older brother.

"Morning," said D'Avin, stretching his arms up and yawning. "You're up early."

"Maybe you're up late?"

"Always the comedian, Johnny," said D'Avin making a face at him.

"I can be funny."

"So what's the big secret?"

"Nothing," said Johnny, perhaps a little too quickly.

That only caused D'Avin to give him the suspicious eye. He, however, didn't pursue it. Instead he asked, "Food?"

"Over there," Johnny pointed at the breads by the open cabinet.

"Oh yum, leftovers," said D'Avin as he went over and plucked up a piece that looked hard enough to hurt someone.

"So...," started D'Avin, "things good on Qresh and Pawter?"

Johnny nodded, not trusting himself to elaborate too much. Talk about being a bad secret keeper. He kept his eyes, instead, focused on the mossipede, watching it as it ate its meal.

"Okay," said D'Avin in a drawled voice. "Talkative today aren't we?"

"Just preoccupied."

"Staring at that disgusting little pet of yours?"

"Hey, insult your own pet when you get one."

That earned Johnny a snort. "I will."

At least it ended the discussion.

But then an awkward silence followed which ended finally when D'Avin broke it.

"Alright, I'm just going to check in with Dutch. She on the bridge?"

"No. She's in the cargo bay area. Said she was packaging something."

"Cool."

D'Avin turned to leave, but then stopped in mid turn, and asked with a concerned tone, "hey, things really okay with you?"

Johnny looked at him and forced a reassuring smile, "yeah, everything is good."

"Cool." D'Avin smiled and gave a small wave before heading out of the mess hall.

"Yeah, everything is good." Johnny repeated in a hollow tone as he stared at the mossipede, deep in thought. Everything is just wonderful.


End file.
